


New Feelings

by maxibee



Series: Of Magic and Angels [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is an Angel, Holidays, M/M, Magnus Is Emotional, The boys are grown ups, lake Como is beautiful, secret house
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 15:52:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15489330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxibee/pseuds/maxibee
Summary: Magnus and Alec have been together for decades. Magnus is wondering how life would have been if Alec had remained a Shadowhunter.A one-shot in which Alec is an angel and Magnus worries about his immortality.





	New Feelings

  The sun was setting on the lake Como, orange lights reflecting in the water before they gradually turned pink and finally dark blue. A light breeze was blowing, making the leaves of the trees dance softly, sometimes flying away.  
  Magnus loved the beginning of summer, especially at night. The heat of the day was still very present on the terrace, he could feel it on his bare feet, but the cool air made everything more enjoyable to remain outside and watch the day disappear.  
  Even though Alec and the boys liked to travel the world and discover new places, Magnus had always preferred coming to the house by the lake. Something about the peaceful atmosphere, the water, the hills transforming into mountains made it seem more intimate. Or maybe it was just the memory of Alec and him, years ago, sharing their first kiss in that very lake, shivering because of the cold water and yet burning with passion and excitement.  
  Magnus simply loved this place, for whatever reason it was.  
  
“We should come with the boys next time.” Alec said while wrapping his arms around Magnus’ waist, back-hugging him tenderly.  
  
“And show them our secret place?” Magnus smiled and leaned against Alec’s chest, smiling softly. “I somehow want to keep this place for us only… Besides, Max and Rafael are too old now. I doubt they’d want to accompany us here.”

“Come on, it’s not because they’re both adults now that they don’t want to travel with us anymore.” Alec argued. “They might be in their twenties, but they are still our babies. They would love it here.”

“Hmm..” Magnus turned around and cupped Alexander’s cheek. “Maybe next summer then.” The warlock placed a gentle kiss on Alec’s lips who returned it right away. “Let’s go to bed now, it’s getting late.”  
  
  _When they first met, Alec was a Shadowhunter. The warlock had been contacted by the New York Institute to help them with a case. Magnus had almost refused but after meeting Alec, it had become way more interesting to be involved with Nephilim. They had flirted for weeks. Alec made up ridiculous stories to go meet Magnus, pretexting he needed a warlock to heal him instead of an Iratze or insisted that Magnus’ tracking abilities worked better than Jace’s and his despite their Parabatai strength. They went on dates around the world, including to the Como lake in Italy where they shared their first kiss._  
  
  Magnus had found all of that very amusing until the day Alec showed up at his apartment with a real wound. The warlock had opened the door, ready to welcome the Shadowhunter with a witty remark, but all that could come out of his mouth was a muffled scream.  
  Alec’s back was covered in blood, two huge cuts visible on his shoulder blades.  
  
“Alexander… Your back…” Magnus had said as he sank to his knees to pull Alec close to him, his voice weak to his own ears. “What happened…?”

_The rest happened so fast that it was still a blur to the both of them. All Magnus really remembered were his hands covered in Alec’s blood, Alec’s screams of pain, Jace shouting at him to save Alec, Isabelle crying and holding her brother.  
  And then they came out, bursting out of Alexander’s back as if they had always belonged there. They had scared all of them except for Magnus. The warlock had instantly reached for them, slowly, carefully, as if they were the most fragile things in the world. _

_“Are those…” Jace had whispered, his eyes wide and filled with worries for his Parabatai._

_“They’re wings.” Magnus had answered, his hand going through the blood covered feathers. “The most beautiful wings I’ve ever seen…”_  
  
  _It took a while for Alec to accept what he had become. He knew that Jace had angelic blood and that he was different from other Shadowhunters, but becoming an angel was a whole different thing. He had never longed to be an angel, never longed to be anything else than a respected Shadowhunter. He knew some of the cases they worked on were dangerous and could cost him his life, but never had he thought that one of them would turn him into an angel._  
_They tried to discover how it had happened, what kind of magic had been used to turn him into such a complex and yet pure being. Unfortunately, even with Magnus’ help, their investigation had led to nothing but dead ends._  
_Some people at the Institute had become wary of Alexander and his new angel powers. Some thought that he had become too powerful and feared he would end up killing them. Others admired him, and it made Alec just as uncomfortable._

_“It’s easier to fear and push away than take time to understand.” Magnus had told Alec one night._

_“You didn’t push me away though. You never did. Even Izzy and Jace became distant because of those wings.” Alec frowned, his wings automatically retracting against his back in a protective way._

_“Give them time. They will come back to you. Your siblings are only trying to get to know the new you, even if they are not showing it.” Magnus said softly while smoothing down a few feathers in Alec’s wings._

_“But I’m still me! I haven’t changed! I’m still Alec, I… They don’t need to do that. I’m still the same...” Alec looked away as tears of frustration started to build behind his eyelids._

_“Angel...” Magnus whispered and cupped Alec’s cheek, wiping the tears that ran down his cheekbone with his thumb. “… You need time to understand and accept all that happened to you. To me, you are still the same, you are still the beautiful boy I fell for the first day I saw him. Your wings are now part of who you are. We might not know the extend of your powers yet or if you are still mortal, but I promise you that through every step, I will be by your side. You are not alone in this.”_

_Alexander had looked into Magnus’ unglamoured eyes that night and had told the warlock he loved him for the first time. Magnus had smiled lovingly, returning the words between soft kisses as Alexander’s wings wrapped around them.  
  And the warlock had kept his promise._

  A few hours later, Magnus was back on the balcony, lost in thoughts and gaze lost in the water. There had always been something about the movement of the water that helped him keep calm and composed. He breathed in pace with the waves, the sound of them helped him concentrate, almost as if he was meditating.  
  
  Lately, Magnus thought a lot about what his life would have been like if Alec hadn’t become immortal. He often imagined waking up next to an older version of Alec. A version where his husband would have grey hair and wrinkles around his eyes. A version of Alec that would be beautiful no matter how old he would be. But Magnus never allowed himself to fantasize too long about that. Because if Alec had remained mortal, a time would have come where Magnus would have been left alone with Max and Rafael. Would he have survived after Alec’s death? Would he have been able to face their children and be reminded of a life he couldn’t longer have? Would he have been able to keep on living without Alec? He doubted all of that. Magnus had loved before Alec, of course he had. He had lived for centuries and experienced different kinds of relationships, but nothing could be compared to what he and Alec had.

“Why aren’t you in bed?” Alec asked sleepily, pressing his lips to Magnus’ temple as he joined him on the balcony.

“I couldn’t sleep.” Magnus answered, his eyes never leaving the lake. “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“Is there something bothering you? You’ve been kind of distant these last few days.” Alec said after a moment. He moved his hand to rest on Magnus’ on the railing.

Magnus hesitated for a second. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately.” He finally said.

“Thinking? About what?” Alec turned to face his husband.

“About us, the kids, you, your immortality, mine too maybe.” Magnus mirrored Alec and looked up at him.

“Magnus… I’m not going anywhere, we know that now.” Alec softly replied, giving Magnus’ hand a light squeeze.

“We know that now. But for years we weren’t certain, and I lived everyday wondering when your first grey hair would appear, when you would start forgetting small things like Max’s birthday or even my name. I’ve seen it and lived it so many times that I couldn’t just believe that you really became immortal. But now we know, you still look the same as twenty-eight years ago. You will never age, and I wonder how you feel about it. Because immortality can be curse sometimes.”

“Magnus… I know that it’s not going to be easy, but I’m used to losing people. Shadowhunters often die young doing their duty, I know what it feels like.” Alec replied.

“But are you ready to watch Rafael age and die? Are you ready to see your son become an old man while you will still look the same as when you adopted him? It will happen, and it will happen faster than we think.” Magnus retorted and frowned lightly. “I am not ready for that. I am not ready to see my son need me again, this time because he can’t walk alone anymore…” He turned away from Alec and looked back at the lake.

  Alec remained silent for a moment, trying to understand what his husband was going through at the moment. Magnus had always been so rational about those things that the angel didn’t really understand his concerns. He had experienced that type of loss before, why was it different now?

“Why are you thinking about all of this now?” Alec then asked, looking at Magnus again.

“After meeting you,” Magnus started. “It is as if I began a new life. I got the chance to start over and become someone new. Someone I never dared to dream to be. I’m a father now and I may be almost four hundred and eighty years old, it is the first time in my life I am experimenting those feelings.” He explained and glanced at Alec. “I worry about the boys even when there is no reason to worry, I wonder if they are okay when I know that they don’t need me to check on them anymore.” He sighed softly and shook his head. “They don’t need us anymore.”

“They will always need us, Magnus. No matter how old they get we will always be their fathers and there for them.” Alec said and gently rubbed Magnus’ shoulder.

“They grew up so fast…” Magnus sighed and rested his head on Alec’s chest.

Alec understood Magnus’ concerns. Unlike what he had told Magnus, the angel wasn’t ready to see his family die. He knew it would happen, he was aware of it, but he refused to think about it now. He would face it when the time comes, and he wouldn’t face it alone.

“Do you ever regret it?” Alec suddenly asked. “Do you regret the life you have now?”

“Never.” Magnus quickly answered and looked up at Alec. “I never once regretted meeting you, marrying you and having a family with you. Things would have been harder if you hadn’t become an angel, but even if you hadn’t, we would be standing on this very balcony, watching the lake at night knowing the boys are doing well on their own. You would have looked gorgeous with grey hair.” Magnus smiled lightly and ran his fingers through Alec’s hair. “I will never regret us Alexander.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first time posting here and I haven't written anything like this in a long time.  
> Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> M.


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